Hi Reader,

September had me in a funk.

I do not say that lightly, and I do not say it to perform vulnerability. I say it because I think you might recognise this feeling and I want you to know it is not just you.

It was not sadness exactly. It was more like going through the motions while simultaneously feeling a low hum underneath everything. Like something was gathering. Like the energy around me was quietly rearranging itself and nobody had told me what it was rearranging into.

And here is the part I am a little embarrassed to admit.

I kept trying to rush it.

Because that is what I do. I feel something shifting, I get excited about what might be coming, and then I become completely impatient for it to arrive. I want to name it. Plan for it. Get ahead of it. I want to know what the next version of things looks like before it has even decided what it is.

My nervous system was trying to process something large and quiet, and I kept poking it going are we there yet.

I know this pattern. I have had it before at every big threshold moment of my life. The excitement and the impatience arrive together, long before the thing they are pointing toward has taken shape. And the gap between feeling it coming and actually knowing what it is can be genuinely uncomfortable to sit in.

Especially when you are someone who teaches women to regulate their nervous systems and trust the process. Because even I have months where the process is just a bit much.

What I have learned, and keep relearning, is that the funk is not the problem. Neither is the impatience.

They are often the precursor.

The body doing the processing before the mind has caught up. The nervous system recalibrating for something larger. The quiet before the next thing.

I do not know yet what the next thing is. But I can feel it coming. And I am learning, slowly, to let it arrive in its own time rather than trying to drag it forward before it is ready.

If September left you feeling similar, I want you to know: you are not stuck. You might just be on the edge of something.

Stay close. October feels different already.

And in other news, something I am really proud of.

I Came Anyway, my memoir piece in Anthologia Issue 3, is available to pre-order right now. It is a collection of stories for every woman and my chapter is about exactly this. The feeling of something gathering. The decision to move toward it anyway.

It launches 30 December. Pre-order link click here.

In joy,